A New Path I Go...

Down this road I go,
It is so familiar to me,
I've been here before I know,
This time will be different, you'll see.

A new outlook on life,
A new lease on the old,
No more drama, no strife,
Just fitting in with the fold.

Changing who we are,
Won't change what will be,
Life is so bizarre,
I'm sure you agree.

Love in my heart,
Peace in my mind,
I go forth to do my part,
I hope you do so in kind.

So lets just live life and love,
Lets just all get along,
Because when push comes to shove,
Family will always hold strong.

Blog: Regrets and Stress

Lately I've had alot of regrets, and alot of stress. It's interfering with my sleep schedule, I find myself tossing and turning all night with these thoughts racing through my mind.

My first stressful thing would be my not knowing how to drive. Sounds silly for me not to be driving at 26, but I've kept this fear of driving, and I know I need to get over it. Also, I have to wait for my tax return so I can get a used car. There are other things I need to do with this tax return, but thats the most important. I also need a cell phone, especially in todays society.

My Grandma is in the hospital, which makes me regret not taking the time to get to know her, or just pick up the phone and call her from time to time. I only ever called when I needed to get in touch with my mom. Now that she is dying, its eating me up inside.

I'm also unemployed, I lost my job at Pilot. They kept dicking me around with hours til I finally missed a three hour shift at midnight and they fired me. Oh well, I say to myself, but in reality I needed what little money that provided. Hopefully I find gainful employment soon!

College, pfft. This is stress on my plate too, because I am having a VERY difficult time trying to decide on which college to attend. I was weighing the Art Institute for Culinary, and ITT Tech for computers. Both VERY different spectrums, but both I love very much.

Don't even get me started in the relationship department! Right now these other issues are on my mind, and fitting time in for romance is very hard to do! I'm so confused lately. *sigh*

Thats all for now. Peace, Love, and Gatorade.

Grandmother...

Feelings unspoken, emotions down the drain,
How did we get here, who is to blame?
No amount of apologies can hide my pain,
I wish I had more time, do you wish the same?

We barely know each other,
In fact I doubt you have a clue,
How much I really care Grandmother,
Just how much I love you, I do!

You mean the world to me,
Even if I haven't expressed it to you,
In these last hours, days, weeks I want you to see,
That I love you with every fiber of my being.

So if it is time for you to go,
I hope that you will always know,
That I will hold you in my heart til we meet again,
Sipping tea in our angelic robes in Heaven!

Obstacles...

I'm stuck in a situation,
Where I lack control.
Afraid of confrontation,
So here I dwell.

I'm stuck here,
Nothing can be done,
I'm starting to fear,
My thoughts weigh a ton.

My burdens overcome me,
Nothing I can do.
No possibilities I can see,
An escape route I wish I knew.

What will become of me?
Nothing until I break free.

Every time...

Every time I express how I feel,
I find that no one cares.
So I sit here trying to deal,
Crying my eyes out.

Everytime I try to find myself,
I find that no one cares.
So I put my feelings on the shelf,
Hoping someone will notice me.

Every time I try to reach out,
I find that no one cares.
They think I'll always be devout,
Slowly I slip away.

Every time I reach from the grave,
I find that no one cares.
Which is truly sad...
Because it is me they could have saved.

Looking Forward...

Looking forward I see love,
Love as beautiful as the dove,
None around me shall despair,
There is nothing but happiness everywhere.

This place is familiar to me,
Recognition as far as my eyes can see,
Not a tear of sadness in anyone's eye,
Not a note of contempt nor a stressed sigh.

We just love and enjoy each other,
Every sister, father, brother and mother,
Rejoicing all the same,
Praising in Heaven, in Jesus' name.

Lingering...

Why do I try?
Love hurts so deeply.
Why did you lie?
Your love still sears through my veins.

I'm constantly trying to let you go,
This is the hardest thing to do,
Just wish I could let you know,
How much I still love you so.

I live my days without you,
The pain of losing you lingers,
You've moved on with someone new,
Leaving me to wonder if you ever think of me.

I'm stranded in my thoughts of we,
I drown every night in my bed,
Thoughts of a new lover overwhelm me,
I just wish I could get you out of my head.

Please free me from this hurt,
I'm tired of lying in misery,
I just want to move on,
So someone else can have the best of me.